My ZINflection Point

10 years ago, on April 14, 2012, I walked into the group exercise studio at my gym, for something I couldn’t believe I was doing, and something I never imagined would have such a huge impact on my life.

I’d fallen in love with Zumba® in September 2011, by the fourth song of my first class. My perfectionist nature led me to want to know everything possible about this fitness format, so when I learned an Instructor training was scheduled I signed up for it.

I told two people about my plans to take it.

I had no intention of ever teaching, of ever standing in front of a group of people to teach Zumba®, or for any other reason. It took all that I had to walk in the door that day. I couldn’t even bring myself to ask the ZES (Trainer) to take a picture with me. I left the training relieved to have made it through the day, excited to have a better understanding of this dance fitness format I loved, and not at all convinced that I would ever do anything more with it than properly execute the machete step in a Cumbia song.

Six weeks later a man I recognized from the training dropped by the Saturday morning Zumba® class I always attended. He led two songs, and by the end of class I’d summoned up enough courage to walk up to him and say “Hi, I think you were in my Zumba® training a few weeks ago”. He didn’t know it then, but I’d sooner have run out of the building than speak to a practical stranger. I’d sooner melt into the floorboards than approach this new instructor who somehow led two difficult songs in a class full of strangers when I still had no intention of ever doing the same. And that is how I met Rob Powell. Rob has the unique perspective of being the last person who met the remnants of the “old” me. He was the last person to meet the woman who hated herself, who thought herself a waste of time and energy and oxygen. He’s the last person to meet me when I didn’t think I could do anything, and didn’t think I was worth anything. With very few exceptions the people in my life now only know the “new” me. I’d had “friends” before, but many of them fell away as my life changed When you are loyal and giving to a fault, and when you don’t think you are worthy of good people, there are many people who will gladly step in to the space in between. Slowly but surely those people backed away, faded away, or were pushed away. They wouldn’t recognize the woman I am today any more than I recognize the woman I used to be.

Rob and I became good friends, and the more Rob learned of my story, the more he encouraged me to share it. When I was trying to change, when I desperately needed to change, the people who most inspired me were the people who had similar journeys. I wanted to hear the weight loss stories, the “I got off the couch” stories, the “I turned my life around” and the “If I can do it you can too” stories. It’s an honor to know that I am an inspiration to some, and I continue to share my story in hopes that those who need a person or journey they can connect to will find me, and that something I’ve said or done will resonate with them.

I make a big deal of my Zumba® Instructor Anniversary every year, because it is such a distinct inflection point in my life. There aren’t many times when you can look at one date, one day and know that was the day, that was the moment where there was no turning back. As I stood in the back row that day I didn’t know my life was already solidly on a course to bigger, better and far more happier things. I didn’t know that was the last time I’d ever be in a back row. I hadn’t stopped to analyze the mindset changes that were slowly taking me from “I can’t do that thing” to “I can do ANYTHING”. It would take a few more months of photos before I noticed the change in my smile – from something forced and posed to a bright expression of true joy. I didn’t anticipate the whiplash-like effect when the world began reacting to me being me, really and truly me, the person I’d always wanted to be, and the person I’d always hoped I could be.

I so often say that I changed everything, and I did. The person I am today has very few things in common with who I used to be. Thinking back, looking back, feels like remembering a movie I watched too many times. I love myself now, so entirely, so completely, so enthusiastically, that the thought of hating myself is unimaginable. I have some of the very best people in the world as my friends, and the idea that I once surrounded myself with people who only wanted what they could take from me is hard to believe.

Three times a week, at least, I can be found at the front of the class, in a role that feels so natural that those who only know the “new” me cannot believe I was ever any other way.

I changed everything. You can too. And it starts with something that is both simple and hard to believe – the knowledge that you can. No matter what your heart or mind or the world may say, you can. And the reason I know you can is because I did it. It’s a beautiful world, and there’s a beautiful life meant for you. Try something new. Talk to someone new. Take that class. Sign up for the course. Say yes. Make the connection. Set a boundary. Put yourself first. Take one step, and then another, and one day you may find yourself so far from where you started that you’ll find the before hard to believe.

If you would like to know more about my journey you can listen to my interview with Heather Robertson on Episode 281 of the Half Size Me podcast.

Catherine and Donald Wygal interviewed me about my journey from “Zero to Zumba” in episode 113 of the We Only Look Thin podcast.

Want to get in touch? Find me on Instagram @stephieinsc