Loving Myself Here – Wherever Here May Be

I keep running into this idea that if you really love yourself, or are really happy with yourself, you wouldn’t want to change yourself. If you love yourself as you are why would you try to lose weight? If you love your body as it is why would you exercise? You must hate yourself if you want to change.

I’m not certain what would lead someone to say such things, but I suspect it lies somewhere in their own insecurity, in their own unwillingness or inability to change, in their own darkness and damage.

Because it’s a ridiculous and dark concept, that we would only change out of hate, or only want better if we don’t truly accept ourselves as we are.

Parents love their children. We love our children and we want them to be their best, and try their best, right? The same can be true for you. You can love yourself completely, and strive to be your best, and have your best life. The concepts are not mutually exclusive, in fact, I’d argue that without self-love you’ll never achieve your best.

You can’t hate yourself to happiness. You cannot shame yourself to success. Your best life will not be found by tearing yourself apart or tearing yourself down. I hated myself for decades, and all it did was destroy me. When I stopped giving up on myself, when I trusted myself, and believed in myself, when I loved myself enough to stop letting myself down, that is when I was able to change, that is when I started to become the person I always wanted to be.

I have no profound answers, I have no magic formula for life, but this much I know: you have to love yourself.

You have to love yourself where you are today, for who and what you are.

Because you cannot hate yourself to a better life.  You can only love yourself there.